I’m one of those “healthy eaters.” The thing that is always hilarious to me is the stigma that this carries with it. Somehow, I’m the weird one because I choose not to live life in the drive-through lane at McDonald’s. People think it’s unfathomable that I haven’t been on a diet in over half a lifetime (because, see, if you eat healthy all the time, you don’t have to diet! It’s a crazy concept, I know).
Don’t get my wrong, as you’ll likely read in many of my posts, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who loves chocolate, donuts, and birthday cake more than I do. But because I eat healthy most of the time, I get to have these things once a week! That’s pretty good by my count. But what kills me is that people honestly give me weird looks when I tell them this his how I eat (nay, live my life). They look at my like I’ve just told them I collect mold, spores, and fungus for fun. Seriously. It’s somehow much more normal in this country to fill your body with crap, complain to your friends about how fat your ass is, and then starve yourself to “lose those last 5 pounds” and then gain back 7 of them. Hey, if that’s your bag, that’s cool with me, but why am I the freak, exactly?
Not only does being a “healthy eater” carry with it this stigma, but the other thing that I find funny is how most people define “healthy eating.” I have found that there are two categories of people who mistakenly define what healthy eating is. First, there are the people who think if you buy it at Wild Oats or Whole Foods, it’s healthy. Dude, their cookies don’t have pesticides, but THEY HAVE SUGAR. Their fried rice may not have MSG or transfats, but it’s still FRIED rice.
The second category of people who mistakenly define healthy eating is comprised of the infamous vegetarian: people who think that not eating meat means they are eating healthy. Now, I am fully (seriously, vegans, please read this sentence before angrily posting to my blog) aware that there are many, many vegetarians who choose not to eat meat for moral reasons or simply because they don’t like it. And, yes, it is true that certain meat is not healthy for you. However, avoiding meat alone does not mean you are a healthy eater.
Case in point: I was recently on a vacation with nine of my girlfriends. Well, actually, it was seven of my girlfriends and two girls brought by one of my friends. So, this girl—the friend of my friend—who I had just met this weekend, tells me that she, too, is a healthy eater as she is walking out of the kitchen with a heaping plate of fettucine alfredo and a bag of Tostitos.
Oh, and prior to her leaving the kitchen, here was our exchange.
Her: “Oh my gosh, you’ve got to try this Cheez Whiz on these Tostitos; it’s sooo good.”
Me: “Oh, no thanks, I’m good.”
Her: “Seriously, it’s really awesome.”
Me: “Actually, I’m one of those [air quotes] healthy eaters, so I don’t eat Cheez Whiz.”
Her: “[Incredulous laugh] It’s cheese in a can – How unhealthy can it be??”
Okay, stop right there. If you aren’t laughing right now, you did not read that last sentence closely enough. It’s cheese in a can, how unhealthy can it be?? Are you kidding? She wasn’t. If you don’t think cheese in a can is unhealthy, what DO you think is unhealthy? Words fail me.
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grammargirl's grammar tip of the day
Apostrophes 101
Do NOT use an apostrophe to make a word plural!. ONLY use an apostrophe if a word is possessive (i.e., someone or something owns/possesses something).
Incorrect: I want to order five pizza's.
Correct: I want to order five pizzas.
Incorrect: I only work out on Monday's.
Correct: I only work out on Mondays.
Using an apostrophe here would mean that Monday owns something on which you are working out, to which I would reply "You only work out on Monday's what? Sounds painful."
Remember it like this: PLural = PLain A POSessive = APOStrophe
